From Surviving to Thriving: A Busy Mom’s Guide to Prioritizing Health Without Guilt

Motherhood has a way of making you forget yourself.

Not because you don’t care. Not because you’re not capable. But because the needs are constant—kids, work, marriage, family, life. And for many ambitious women, the “push through it” mindset doesn’t magically disappear when you have a baby. If anything, it gets louder.

But here’s the truth we’re saying out loud: you cannot thrive if you’re constantly surviving.

In this episode of Musings of a Geriatric Mama, I sat down with Dr. Francesca Alcide—known as “Dr. D” and also Fran the Mom Doc—to talk about what wellness actually looks like in real motherhood. Not Pinterest-perfect wellness. Not “do the most” wellness. But practical, evidence-based, grace-filled wellness for moms who are tired, busy, and doing their best.

This conversation wasn’t just about exercise. It was about identity. It was about mental health. It was about community. It was about remembering that the woman you were before motherhood is not gone—she’s just evolving.

The wellness myth that keeps moms stuck: “I don’t have time.”

Dr. D said something that many moms need to hear—even if it stings a little at first: there is time.

Not because life is easy. Not because your plate isn’t full. But because when we do an honest survey of our day, we often discover that time exists… it just isn’t being protected.

And as moms, we are often the last ones to get the care:

• Last to schedule our annual check-up

• Last to get preventive screenings

• Last to address symptoms like anxiety, fatigue, mood changes, and weight shifts

• Last to refill our cup

Meanwhile, everyone else is covered: the job, the kids, the spouse, the household, the appointments, the deadlines.

This is why Dr. D sees the same patterns repeatedly in her patients—especially moms:

• Anxiety

• Depression

• Obesity

• Prediabetes

• Hypertension (high blood pressure)

Let that list sit with you for a second.

Because this isn’t about shame. It’s about awareness. It’s about the wake-up call that helps you shift from “I’ll deal with it later” to “I’m dealing with it now.”

“It’s not martyrdom, it’s motherhood.”

One of the strongest moments in the conversation was when Dr. D said what many women have been conditioned not to say:

You may have to be a little selfish.

And before anyone twists that into something ugly—she wasn’t saying “ignore your kids.” She was saying: stop disappearing.

Because motherhood was never designed to be martyrdom. That’s not the assignment. Your wellness matters because you matter—not only because you’re raising humans, but because you are a human.

Redefining self-care: grooming vs. healing

Dr. D also made a distinction that’s going to challenge (and free) a lot of women:

Some things we call self-care are actually grooming.

Hair done. Nails done. Looking polished. That’s not bad. It can be confidence-boosting. It can be part of how you present yourself professionally.

But it’s not always the care your nervous system needs.

For her, self-care looks like:

• Eating to fuel her body

• Going to bed early when needed

• Choosing boundaries

• Moving her body as an act of replenishment

• Therapy as a bridge for mental and emotional wellness

And the key word was: intentional.

Because you can look put together and still be falling apart internally.

Fitness as identity reclamation

Dr. D shared how she lost herself after her first baby—how motherhood shook her to her core—and how it took time to even talk about it without breaking down.

But then she said something that deserves to be underlined:

“It helped me find me again… just by saying I’m going to start my day with me.”

That’s not vanity. That’s survival turning into strength.

For her, fitness became the space where she could not think about:

• medicine

• kids

• spouse

• the demands of everyone else

It became her uninterrupted time to pour back into herself.

And she treats it like an appointment. Because it is.

Moms will keep every appointment for everyone else—pediatrician, school events, meetings, deadlines—and then wonder why they can’t show up consistently for themselves.

So here’s the practical shift: put your wellness on the calendar.

Community is medicine too

Motherhood can be one of the loneliest experiences—ironically, even when you’re surrounded by people.

That’s why Dr. D talked about group fitness and community not just as motivation—but as healing.

Because we were never meant to do this alone.

If “the gym” isn’t your thing, fine. But the concept still stands:

• a walking group

• mom friends who get it

• therapy (especially postpartum specialists)

• faith community

• a supportive coach or wellness professional

Community is not a luxury for mothers. It’s a lifeline.

The evidence-based basics: what your body actually needs

Dr. D brought it back to the science—because we don’t just need motivation, we need clarity.

Current guidelines generally recommend:

• 150 minutes per week of moderate aerobic activity (think brisk walking, cycling, etc.)

• Strength training at least 2 days per week

Why strength training matters:

• supports muscle mass as we age

• improves insulin resistance

• supports bones as women naturally lose bone density over time

Translation: this is not about a number on the scale. This is about being strong enough to live your life—now and later.

Nutrition: you cannot out-train a bad diet

This part was gold because it addressed a common trap:

Women—especially high-achieving women—often come from “starvation culture.”
Skip meals. Live on coffee. Hustle through the day. Then crash.

Dr. D said it plainly: food is fuel.

Not punishment. Not an aesthetic contest. Fuel.

Her practical tips for busy moms:

• meal prep when you can

• keep snacks in your bag (protein-focused options)

• read labels

• keep protein shakes available

• don’t wait until you’re starving and grab anything

Depletion is Real and getting adequate vitamins and minerals is essential for healing and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

These are the supplements that I try to stay consistent with as a busy mom: (please always consult with your medical provider for adequate lab work and follow up. These are what I noticed helped me. Don't take if allergic to any of these. REMEMBER TO ASK YOUR DOCTOR OR SPECIALIST FIRST before starting any SUPPLEMENT!)

• Vitamin D3 (may promote immunity, muscle and bone health)

• Fish Oil (may help with controlling cholesterol some, good for skin and nails)

• Magnesium Glycinate (may have calming properties, helps with mood and bones)

• Women’s Daily multivitamin (all around health benefits)

• Iron (for those with diagnosed iron deficiency) (can rebuild blood reserves related to anemia)

And one line that will stick with people:
“Every meal does not have to be an experience.”

That’s not permission to stop enjoying food. It’s permission to stop needing every meal to be emotional comfort.

A faith-forward reminder for the mom in the trenches

Toward the end, the conversation became sacred.

Dr. D said she would hug her first-time mom self and remind her:

• it gets better

• God didn’t forget you

• you were called to do this

• the children are His

And if you’re reading this while tired, overwhelmed, or feeling like you’re failing—hear me clearly:

You are not alone.
You are not behind.
You are not invisible.

Operate with grace and self-compassion.
And start with one step.

Not ten. Not perfection. One.

Because thriving doesn’t begin when life gets easier. Thriving begins when you decide you matter too.

Watch the full episode here!

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